Thirsty Camels

Here we are, in moments like these... where we realize the emptiness and loneliness more than ever before. I say we, simply because I am never truly alone... I have the choir singing their lullabies and the cat awaiting his moment of jubilation. As for myself... solitude would be an understatement. I played a few games this evening, not so much for the "digital therapy", but for the hope that someone would speak to me or at least notice my presence. Bouncing between an online flash game called Batheo, Facebook Games, Xbox 360, EverQuest 1 & 2, World of Warcraft, Rift, Pogo Games and Star Wars Galaxies... nothing and no one. I am truly the invisible pixel. Tomorrow I have to see my therapist... there I will be seen and the center of attention. After all, I am playing him for his time... no sincerity, tea or biscuits for this one. I tell myself often, "I don't know how much longer I can go on like this...". Perhaps the few readers I have are sick of hearing me cry about the dusted tears... some perhaps going as far as just waiting for the day that the posts stop coming. Everyday my heart breaks a little more... which is curious in it's own right. If I can't feel love, the soul emotion from the heart, how can it be breaking daily? I am debating covering myself with, "Handle With Care" packaging stickers... maybe I am too fragile? I am the cracked vase, with my splinters wedging themselves deep within the carpet... waiting for someone to take notice as I cut and rip my way into their lives... the troublesome nuisance I am so often reminded of being. We always want that which we can not have... but what about the things we so desperately need? Do I really need a friend or companion? My heart screams yes, but as for the rest... it is just the mirrored mockery of my own mind.