The Swallowed Soul

Several times now, I have mentioned something briefly and stated, "That's a story for another time.". I can't recall exactly how many times I've said this... whether they were about Serah Weaver, shooting the family dog, being chased by a UFO or selling my soul to Satan. I do however, remember two occasions... tonight, I will keep true to my word and share one of those stories. Whether or not you believe it to be true is entirely up to you... I quite often wonder how much of my life could possibly be true and I was there. So, tonight's tale is about... selling my soul to Satan.

After dropping out of college to sell drugs full-time, then later using full-time, I enrolled in a technical college to pursue the life of a mechanic. In one of my classes, there was this stunningly, beyond beautiful woman named Maria... I watched her walk in and out of my life everyday. I was around 19 or 20 at the time and I will be completely honest with you... attraction, affection and love are directly linked to the penis of a young man. I don't care who they are or how sensitive they appear or how much they listen... it's about sex and physical appearance. I am not agreeing with this behavior, but it is the hard, cold truth. If I had to issue an approximate age that men actually become men, instead of lust driven assholes, I would say around 28-30 yrs of age... of course, there are some that never grow out of it and remain boys forever. Anyway, my attraction and desire for Maria grew stronger and stronger as time went on. I was married at the time, with 2 cats, a dog, 2.5 children and owned a home... having an affair or even speaking with this woman wasn't something I was very eager to pursue. Instead, I watched and dreamt of her everyday in class. One day, I started to pray to Satan during these times of watching her... my exact words are long forgotten, but it was along the lines of, "Satan, I would offer my soul to you, to be with Maria... even if it was for just one night.". These "prayers" or pleas continued for the rest of the semester... sometimes not just in class, but also at home while mixing drugs and witchcraft. The semester ended and we parted ways... never once did she even notice me or did I utter one word to her. Shortly after finishing college, my now ex-wife decided to exchange her morals as a devout Muslim wife for the life of becoming an online dominatrix and porn queen. The marriage fell apart and we separated, the children went to live with their biological father's, the cat's ran away and I shot the family dog. Calm down, it was a mercy killing... he was terribly ill with a gangrenous infection. After she got her business up and running, I returned to my house to live by myself. It had been at least 2 years since I had seen Maria, but never once had her image left my mind. One night, there was a knock at my front door... it was my uncle "Pony". He greeted me with a smile and said, "Nephew, my nephew, I brought you a present!". Out of the shadows, of the front doorway, stepped out... you guessed it, Maria. I laughed and asked him, "What the fuck are you talking about?". He told me he was at the bar downtown, met this girl and found out she had nowhere to live. He told her, "My nephew has a house and he'd love to have you move in!". I had never told anyone about Maria, so things started to feel a little peculiar. I agreed to allow her and her two young boys move in the next day and my uncle and Maria left for the night... leaving me to wonder what was happening. The next day, she walked over to my house and I took her to go pick up her kids from their grand-parents house, as well as a new cat. I had to be at work in a few hours, so we sat down and watched a movie... Maria and I on the couch and the two little boys laying on the floor in front of us. She started to make sexual advances towards me... snuggling close and rubbing my inner thigh. I put my arm around her and began kissing her... things quickly became even more so heated between us. She told me, "I have to have you... I need you." in a soft whisper in my ear followed by a few nibbles. I told her in respond, "When I get home from work, I will have you.". So I went to work... my mind was completely blown. Do the math here folks... for a whole semester this woman didn't even know I existed, she was gorgeous beyond words and she was already living in my house for free! Nothing seemed to make sense. I kept asking myself, "What the fuck is going on here?". I finished my work, closed up and went home. Maria had cleaned the entire house, cooked me a fabulous meal from scratch (and I mean scratch, there was nothing in my home to eat), greeted me with a warm and tender smile... she was even wearing an apron. I was offically in the twilight zone. She offered me the food and I set it aside and we began feasting on each other. It was the most intense sexual experience of my life, even to this day. Afterward, she went to wash up and check on the kids as I ate the food she had prepared and indulged in my after-work drug consumption. She told me to go get her after I had finished so we could spend some more time together. I had hit the jack-pot here... not only was she beautiful and the perfect housewife, she didn't mind me getting wasted on drugs and she didn't even want any for herself? I thought I had died and gone straight to Heaven... everything was perfect. I ended up using far too many drugs for the night and passed out, so Maria went to sleep in my bedroom with the kids. I woke the next morning to another perfect day... greeted with a warm smile and embrace and a masterfully cooked breakfast. Then came the downfall.... a phone call from my best friend. My soon to be ex-wife was in town, at his house, and wanted to "see me". I had talked to him about Maria while I was at work the night before, so he was giving me a head's up. He laughed and said, "You're fucked bro... what do you want me to say to her?". We had this terribly dysfunctional relationship, so I agreed to go see her at his house... this meant she would also be expecting to come back home with me and spend the night and leave the next day to return to her new lifestyle. So basically, I switched into asshole mode... full scale. I told Maria to get her shit and get the fuck out of my house, now. She was heartbroken or so it appeared... I've never been good at understanding people all that well. So that was it, she walked out of the door with her two young boys and their few belongings and I kept the cat for myself. I had obtained what I had wanted for so very, very long... one night with Maria. Other than her coming to my work a night later and yelling at me for the way I had treated her... I never saw her again. It is a truly bizarre series of events and even after all of these years passed... I am still not sure what to think of it all. Did I really sell my soul to Satan? I honestly do not know, but I refer to it as such because that is really the only thing that makes sense of out this brief chapter of my life. I catch myself from time to time, thinking of Maria and how things could have been if I would have told my buddy to get rid of my ex-wife and never kicked Maria out. Even still, I wonder if I really did sell my soul and what may await me on the other side... or perhaps, I'm living soullessly and tormented now, as I pay my debt.