Closure

No matter how painful or tear lined it may be... I need this chapter of my life to be closed. Whether your words are spun by a forked tongue or there is a final stab wrenching in my stomach... I need to know why. Stripped away from me, like a trophy, was my innocence... my fragile, virgin state of mind. Leaving me without a towel to wipe my tears or to plug the hole you ripped in my chest. You abandoned me on that silver street, never to return and witness the ruins left by your hand. Even though you left without any remorse or indecision, returning to what once was adequate... I needed more. I needed the explanation. I needed the goodbyes. I needed the insincere apologies. I needed the closure. For these things, no matter how mending, I mustn't wait. Those words will never come and I must repair the pieces alone. Breath by breath and day by day, I send your name unto the void... to learn to trust again. As I remove your words, which dangled my heart... I'll learn to live once more.

My Zephyr, My Moon

Karma, it always finds you. When I was younger... a head full of ego and self importance... I used to seek out the vulnerable as prey. It gave me a feeling of self worth, power and a rush of excitement... life. The disease in my mind, over the years, has made me very fragile... vulnerable. Now I have become the prey... the hunted. It has come full circle. Though I am now older and have, for the most part, put the childish behavior to rest... I am still accountable for my wrong doings. Therefore, karma has the right to make me her quivering bitch at a whim's notice. With wounded pride, shattered heart and more fear in my heart towards the world and those that dwell in it... I am forced to move on. It hurt beyond words, to be led to the slaughter... lied to, built up, then torn down. No remorse or reasons given... you left my life just as quickly as you came. I had little to nothing before... now, I have nothing. I put my faith in your words and began to trust the songs you sang to me nightly... like dripping wax, they seeped into my mind. Leaving now a cool, hardened echo... I may never hear those songs again from another voice. Scar tissue filters out all of what could be and I am left to dwell in the ramblings of my insanity. If there was anything left to feel betrayed or broken... I don't know if I could handle this sorrow. But you took it all from me, every last piece. I should be grateful and offer some reward... for I am dead inside. There's nothing... I am numb.

Upon Deaf Ears

It has been awhile since I have written... several factors involved. Part of me has given up and lost it's voice... my artistic scream to the world has fallen upon deaf ears. Other parts have been too confused with the complexity of emotions and running from plastic men in petticoats... women with their fashionable mustaches. Depression has nuzzled it's way into my daily routine once again... it was rude to be an invited for the evening, then staying through the weekend. Emotions are mannerless... always thinking of themselves. Was it the way she pursed her lips or the way he raised his brow that captivated me in such a way... bringing me to my knees in supplication? How I love the dance and enticing music... it bends my will and breaks my spirit. Leaving that sticky taste and empty feeling, rotting in pit of my stomach. Turn down the lights... it's warm before the draft. Your embrace... turn down the lights.