I Am Jack's Bitten Hand

It has been weeks now and nothing has changed... just more rejection and disappointment. Casual conversation or terms of encouragement leave me playing the role of the classroom freak. Is it so odd that a stranger open up themselves to another stranger or try to offer support to them? Perhaps that has always been the problem with me... perhaps I should just ignore the world and fill myself with false securities. I'll duck behind the masses and mingle... the blowfish among the ocean of people. Puffing themselves to show their importance all the while hiding behind their thorny defenses... to be part of something I loathe. With every passing day my little remaining courage and esteem dwindles further down the rabbit hole... soon I will be left with only the illusion. I must practice restraint and quit placing myself in the way of rejection. Long ago it became painfully obvious I do not fit in, so why must I continue to vie for acceptance? I suppose in a way, I have become addicted to this suffering... I'm aware of the path I walk, but care not for the perils ahead. Perhaps the reason the world shuns me, is for the very reason that I reach out... no one desires comfort, just the illusion. I am fighting for my sight among a world of the blind... they must break me and bend my vision. I am a reminder of what they long to forget... it appears I have a reflection after all.