Just For A Moment

Time has once again passed us by, but this time something positive occurred in it's place... I've successfully posted self-portraits for seven days, in a row. I survived one week of internal humiliation and ridicule... the Choir is viciously delicious in their torments. I haven't received any negative feedback from the community thus far, so that is a plus in my book. It has been humbling, posting myself looking filthy and unbathed, hair in a knotted mess... open and oozing like an open sore for the multitude to prod and poke. Showing myself vulnerable and with raw intimacy... it would have been easy to hide and forget the possibility of growth. Nonetheless, I did it... I started something and stuck to it. That is something to feel good about... for the moment. It's a release from the things lurking within and trying to escape the photographs... for a brief moment in time, I felt like I was worth something. Perhaps not much, but that's not the point... the point is, it was something. It may be hard for someone outside the box to appreciate this feeling... what is seven photos in the grand scheme of things? Imagine viewing yourself out of the picture perfect world... where you soak in the daily accolades and love from those in your plastic lives. Welcome to a place where you've never felt loved from anything or appreciated... not from your mother or father, absolutely nothing. Now in this dark world with only yourself... imagine only seeing yourself as a worthless, hideous, putrid, helpless, pathetic mass. Nothing good will ever come from you, because you are lower than the earth the dogs shit upon... rotting flesh for people to use and toss away at their whim. Now, for a brief moment... you did something. You showed yourself to the world and stood up for yourself proclaiming... "I am here, and I am real.". That moment of truth, that moment of pure humanity... the minute accomplishment of posting seven self-portraits of your fragile, delicate soul. It is something, and I am going to allow myself to feel good about it for a few more minutes before something comes forth to take it from me... for just a moment, I was free. For just one moment, I was real... flesh and blood, just like you.