As I Lay To Sleep

Dear Jesus,

It's me, Davia, Jesus. Thank you for my Mommy and Daddy. Thank you too, for the wind and another day to play and have fun. I know I'm just a little girl, and even though I'm only 9, but my Mommy said you'd bring me someone special one day. After Sunday School, Mommy said you brought Daddy to her and one day you'd bring me someone too... like Daddy. Mommy said this would happen when I got older, but I wanted to tell you what I am looking for now... so you have time to make him for me, Jesus.

Most importantly, I want someone nice... but not all the time. It would be fun to have him be unpredictable and somewhat crazed in his day to day emotional stability. He would be short and about 40lbs overweight. He would also be disabled due to some physical and mental limitations. Some type of exciting mental illness like Schizophrenia... yeah, like on TV, Jesus. He would be a lot older than me, maybe 15 yrs or so, and he has to be a smoker... I think brown teeth and stale smoke is cute on a boy. I want to be madly in love with him, but I don't want him to know or feel it... he should always be afraid of making lasting relationships. I also want him to shy away from my hugs and kisses... Mommy says it's fun to chase men. I want him to very dependent on me like for food, shelter, income, hygiene.... those kinds of things, Jesus. That way I can resent him and make him feel guilt even when he doesn't need to feel that way. Or maybe just so I feel needed all the time... I'll let you sort that one out the best way, Jesus. I want him to be funny, but with an odd sense of humor that offends most people. I want him to have a big beard and long mustache and long hair... so I can brush the knots out and trim them like my dollies. Oh, and he has to be an ex-drug addict so that is health is a bit scary at times... I think that would be fun too. He would have a very abusive past, so we have lots of issues to work on and time to spend together too. I want him to love me, but to not really understand what that means... it can be a hobby for him. Most of all, Jesus, I just want someone to need me and take care of.... someone that loves the idea of being loved. Thank you, Jesus, I love you. Bless Mommy and Daddy and keep them safe. Sleep well, Jesus, and remember how special you are to me. Amen.