When I was in the 6th grade, I asked my parents if I could change schools... I was being severely bullied and just wanted to be somewhere safe. My choice of course was to enroll into the Christian Academy across the street. The people seemed so nice and friendly... surely Jesus would protect me as well. After all, the school was held inside of a church... nothing bad happens when Jesus is around. Children are so gullible and naive. Rules, rules, rules... don't break the rules! Easier said than done. We had desks that faced the wall, each separated by long wooden planks... so you couldn't see the person beside you or anything in your peripheral vision. Two flags decorated the desk... one American Flag and one Christian Flag. If you needed to speak to a "teacher", you would remove the Christian Flag and place it on top the desk, where it meets the wall, on a little shelf. If you needed to grade your work, you removed the American Flag and placed it again in the same place. A "teacher" would come by and either talk to you about your question or touch you lightly on the shoulder informing you it is safe to get out of your seat to grade your work. I say "teacher" because they didn't teach you a fucking thing... my teacher was a book filled with Christian cartoon characters telling me how to do the work. We had a little booklet for each subject matter and when we finished it, we would get a new booklet with more and more lessons. This was called the P.A.C.E. program. Marks were handed out for infractions... marks meant trouble. Here are a few conditions for receiving a mark. A mistake in grading your work... one mark of each mistake. Turning around at your desk... mark. Speaking during school... mark. Standing without permission... mark. Leaving your desk without permission... mark. Finished with all of your work and NOT reading the Bible to occupy yourself... mark. Three to five marks in one day meant detention after school... 30, 45 or 60 minutes depending on how many marks. Six marks earned in one day meant a "paddling"... it wasn't a fucking "paddling"! You would have to go into the principle's office, lean against his desk and close your eyes. He would breathe heavily in your ear while one hand slowly wrapped itself tight against your pelvic area and then he would beat your ass with great precision with a wooden plank. The "paddle" was around 20-24 inches long, 8 inches wide, 1.5 inches thick, shellacked and had holes drilled into it.... Jesus approved, to be sure. Don't break the rules and you won't get marks.
I remember this girl... she used to smile at me during lunch. One day, I decided to write her a little note saying, "I like you."... innocent kid stuff really. After she read it, she blushed and giggled... I remember feeling so happy, because she liked me too. This joy lasted about 2 minutes... she was dragged back inside the church and interrogated. A few minutes later they came for me... I saw her crying and her face swollen red with anger and shame. I was taken into the office and beaten severely for writing that little note... not just once, but twice and every day for the next week. After I got home from school, beaten once more by my father and my mother had properly cast the demon of lust out of me... I learned what I did that was so wrong. You see, when a man comes of age and is ready to associate with women, Jesus will tell you which woman to approach and court. Then all the things you need to know about relationships, marriage and sex are magically imprinted inside your brain. It is a terrible sin for a 12 yr old boy to "like" a girl and unforgivable for him to express that statement in a note. Just imagine how my life would have turned out, if I hadn't learned that valuable lesson?
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