Rethinking T.O.D.

Today I found myself swept away and in thought... perhaps I should reload that dream and inhale deeply. People tell me quite often, that I should write a book about my life. My usual response is, "Did that once... fucker wouldn't print.". Reminded again today in casual conversation, the notion actually stuck against the back of my mind. Bouncing around inside with the choir debating furiously, I thought perhaps maybe I should give it another go. After all, the last attempt was more of a chronological collection of my writings and poetry over the years... not a real book about my life. Every time I see my therapist and I spin the tales of old, he is either in utter shock, tear bursting laughter or cringing empathy. Someone told me today that I could perhaps touch a lot of peoples' lives in various ways... their reactions to the events in my life would inspire an onslaught of emotions ranging from fury, anguish, sorrow, contempt, joy, peace, encouragement. These are not my words... personally, I don't think people would care to read the ramblings of an ex-junkie schizophrenic. Still, the thought lingers. Finding myself in a state of delusional bliss... what if I really could just touch one person? Change one opinion? Inspire one dream? The notion sounds terribly insane as I write these words down... I can't even remember to eat everyday, how the fuck am I going to make a difference? The debate is ongoing... the choir and the cat are disgusted and relentless. Regardless of their opinion or any of my own personal feelings about the issue, I need to make an appointment with a lawyer and ask some questions... my only concern is my safety. If I decide to attempt such an adventure, I thought it would be nice to add some of my writings and poetry within the book... perhaps at the beginning of each chapter, something relevant. The original T.O.D. was my dream to have my poetry published, so it seems fitting. It's just a thought... one of many.