Dancing With Him

Monday is upon us, the day of shedding and appearing closer to human. After hours of laying in the tub, listening to Richard preach, I feel completely lost. What if he is right... what if his plan is the only needed avenue? Should I abandon all hope and desire to feel something, just so Richard can raise his arms in conquest? His joy, purchased with the flesh and sorrow of myself and others, above all, is motive... Lambs to the slaughter, the unrecognizable stalker watching it's prey... removing my will and eating it whole, only to retch it forth unto the masses. Innocence be damned... his appetite is far deeper, it will consume everything without prejudice.His dominance and strength are alarming... how did he claim the seat of power and direction? Whom did he overthrow? Was it Diana... was she sent to me as a savior? If so, where has she gone... for I've not heard from her in so long. Only Richard and The Choir, and he has bent the will of many of them as well. The drums are beating, and the imps are scampering into place... the dance is beginning, and I've lost my face.At night, when he demands we speak in tongues, I have no choice but to pray along... to whom and for what purpose are futile concerns. It's like a trance, my will stripped away like the restrictive undergarments of innocence, lasting for hours... each passing moment removes my desire further. I haven't cried in months, and I've tried all manners of release... cutting, starving, and drugging have no effect. I'm beginning to realize it was Richard that took that sliver of humanity away from me... as I desperately cling to the scraps I have left. I can't allow him to take everything away from me... becoming the victim and hunter, serving my flesh on silver platters night after night.I want to feel, it's what we've always wanted more than anything... but Richard demand we cut it out. I don't know what to do... I've become powerless, a drone to the overlord that cracks his flowered whip. If I lack the strength and courage to save myself, who will come to my aid? Will it be Diana or the rivers of green... finding something worthy, something unseen.