New Cure, Same Story

I have remained silent over the past few days... processing my thoughts and biding my time. My tongue and the inside of my mouth are raw and swollen with frustration... it is time to speak out. I was watching television the other day, which I don't normally do because I prefer to watch DVD's, and a commercial came on... the cure for AIDS. I am sure you've all seen this commercial or heard about it in the news... it's something many have long awaited. Here's the catch... it's a commercial asking for you to donate money to help fund the testing of this cure. Interesting. Have you EVER seen someone asking for money to test their new diabetes drug, various vaccines or anything related to the pharmaceutical realm? I know I haven't... not ever. Now they have a cure for AIDS, a disease that has affected the lives of millions of innocent women and children across the globe, and they NEED money to fund it's testing... that's an all time low for America and it's constant exploiting of the people of this nation. We've all heard the stories of AIDS and how it came into being. At first it was said to have originated from people having sex with monkeys in Africa and then the radical religious extremists said it was an act of judgment by God to all the wicked sinners and homosexuals. I am sure the theories and lies range from one extreme to the next... but what about the truth? Lots of people, including myself, believe the AIDS virus was designed and deployed by the corrupt governments of the world to further the nefarious efforts of the NWO. If indeed they are the ones responsible, then reason would stand that they already have an effective cure and vaccine. Either way, whether you believe this theory or another, do you really believe that the pharmaceutical companies need money for anything? It is well known that illness is a huge money maker for this country... just take Cancer as an example. In America, hundreds of thousands of people, at a minimum, die of Cancer every year... how much money did those people pay up before they died? Think about it. America stands by their statement... there is NO cure for Cancer. Really? That's interesting. I seem to remember a doctor in Europe that has cured tens of thousands of terminal Cancer patients by neutralizing their bodies acidity level with a mixture of baking soda and maple syrup. No, I am not kidding people... this is not a joke, look it up. People that suffer from Cancer have highly acidic levels of pH in their bodies, this is a proven fact... seems to me, fixing that imbalance would be of importance. If they won't give up their Cancer money maker, why would they give up their AIDS money maker? More money, of course! Let's charge everyone in America for this cure... they've got to get their monies worth after all. Millions of people's lives have been forever changed by this illness, of course they're going to donate money to see it stop the suffering... why wouldn't they? I'll tell you why I won't... because they're a bunch of fucking liars! Give your money here, give your money there... do you really think your money is going where you think it is? No fucking way! It's going into their pockets. America is not a country... it's a business. The Corporation of The United States of America. For all we know, this is yet another way to hurt more people... to further the population control. Maybe it's another step towards the NWO, by injecting us with microscopic tracking devices? "Okay, now you've gone too far... microscopic tracking devices?"... I'm sure some of you are thinking this. What? You don't think we have that type of technology? If you really believe that, then perhaps you are the ones that are highly delusional, not me. If by now, you haven't figured out how sick and corrupt our government is... open your web browser and search "Project Paperclip". It is admitted, proven in court, how low our government has gone to achieve their agenda. In all fairness, I'll side with you for a moment. Maybe, just maybe, I am completely full of shit and delusionally paranoid. Fine, I'll give you that. But then, in exchange, just ask yourself again my first question. When was the last time you've seen a commercial, dangling a cure in your face, asking you for a donation to fund it's testing?

Me And My Head

From time to time, I like to write down a quote from something that I find to be brilliant. Whether or not it really is, could always be debated... nonetheless, I still find it fascinating. Here is a quote from my favorite movie, The Tenant, by Roman Polanski. It is based off of the book, Le Locataire (The Tenant), by Roland Topor. It is a masterful piece of work, both the book and the movie... no matter how many times you read/watch it, you will never truly know what really happened. Was Trelkovsky really Madame Choule? Was there ever even a Trelkovsky? The questions go on and on and many have theorized the truth behind those questions... but the true answer is long gone, rotting in the grave of Roland Topor. Fucking brilliant.


"Tell me- At what precise moment does an individual stop being who he thinks he is? You cut off my arm, right? I say me and my arm. You cut off my other arm. I say me and my two arms. Take out my stomach, my kidneys- assuming that were possible. And I say me and my intestines. Follow me? And now, if you cut off my head... would I say, me and my head or me and my body? What right has my head to call itself "me"?"

-Trelkovsky, The Tenant

Moments Of Joy

I am capable of experiencing moments that consist of emotions other than sorrow and anguish. So today, I am going to talk about things that make me smile. A big part of my day to day life is distraction... I need things to keep the voices from tearing me apart. One thing that has proven extremely helpful is video games... I play a lot of video games. In fact, most of my day consists of living in a fictional world, wielding magic and slaying monsters. My therapist refers to this as "digital therapy"... no, I am fairly certain that phrase is unique and not something recognized by the mental health community. He has seen the benefit in my life, so he is okay with it... even though that is really all the interaction with the outside world I have, other than the limited amount by shopping. I also really enjoy watching movies and TV shows on DVD. Lately I have been watching the show "Lost" and playing the video game "Nier" on my xbox 360. I quickly fell in love with them both and have been really enjoying the time I spend doing those activities. I also started watching this older TV show called "Roswell"... not the best, but still enjoyable. The only real downside that I see to the video gaming is it is very easy for me to get obsessed with a game I am playing or too emotionally attached to the characters. The xbox 360 has this little thing called achievements... complete a certain task or goal and you get an achievement worth a certain amount of points. If you manage to claim all of the achievements then you get a 100% completion rating for that game. The points and ratings are pointless... other than the warm, fuzzy feeling inside for doing a job well done. It is safe to say, I am quite the "achievement whore"... I drive myself completely crazed trying to get those things sometimes... so it isn't a flawless form of therapy, but it gives me moments of peace and joy. I asked someone recently, why it is that I can get so attached to things like TV show or video game characters and stories... so emotionally involved to the point of loving them. I find it odd that I can do this, but unable to experience these emotions or feelings with real people. My only thought on it really is that these things are safe and they won't try to harm me... but people, they are the master's of self destruction.

Fuck ABC, America and Dancing With The Stars

A resounding "FUCK YOU" to the above mentioned... you rat ass, dirty, fucking pieces of shit! How could you send home Shannen Doherty on the first show? Is it because she ISN'T some media whore piece of filth? First off, America, you blind, gullible, ass pirates! Buzz Aldrin received a million votes because it would be considered "unpatriotic" to NOT vote for him because he "landed on the moon". Fuck You! The whole moon landing was filmed in a studio you stupid, fucking sheep! Haven't you figured out by now that EVERYTHING your government tells you is a fucking lie? Go ahead, call me a traitor or unpatriotic, but think before you do. Our forefathers that founded this great nation are rolling in their fucking graves at the mockery America has become and the pieces of shit running this country... including our "messiah" president all of you drones and clones worship. Fuck YOU! Secondly, Kate Gosselin, you media whore, side fucked bitch! She couldn't dance worth a fuck, but she stayed because she NEEDS the attention and is probably sucking someone's cock so she can return to the spotlight and re-exploit her children in the name of "good television". Thirdly, Mr. Ochocinco, for all of the Hispanic community, a loud and strong, "FUCK YOU". You stupid motherfucker, ochocinco is NOT the way you say 85 in Spanish! Ochocinco is #8 and #5... ochenta y cinco is 85, you stupid fuck. You legally changed your name to show the world you are a famous NFL player and an idiot. Finally, ABC, what can I say? You are a powerful television station run by the Illuminati and other "powerful" and corrupt pieces of died up donkey shit. You lie to us on the news, alter history with your filtered information and propaganda and pretty much only want what makes you richer and more "in control". Your company is run by some of the evilest, most despicable and tyrannical people on the face of the Earth... we know about your lies, dirty laundry and cover-ups ( 9/11, JFK, Waco, etc.) - Fuck You!

Shannen Doherty did not deserve the treatment she received tonight. She was growing in her dancing, has an incredible spirit and is a wonderful actress. I don't know her as a person, but I really wish I did... I have been a long term fan of hers for over almost 20 years. Shannen, I doubt you will ever read this blog but I want you to know I voted for you as much as possible both weeks and I think you are an amazing and talented person. Best wishes to you and your family and I hope your father recovers soon and fully from his current health struggles.