Strings Attached

These lapses in time seem to be persisting... the paddle collects moss as I drift with the tides. I have the thoughts and ink, but it's the motion that's lacking... these past days have been exhausting. As the sun began setting on this day, I finally scrapped myself out of the webs and starting stepping forward once more. Events are plentiful in this melancholy life... interesting how time ceases to stand still with you. Over the past year, I have been working at getting my weight down to a reasonable amount... I've never been model thin or the like. Quite the opposite. After I was rescued from a third death, I began to put on more and more weight... soon I was up to 250+ pounds. The extra weight started to finish the job and soon formed hands to hammer in the nails... the damage done by the drugs, chemicals and alcohol was slowly repairing itself and we couldn't have that, could we? About two years ago, I was diagnosed with diabetes... I had to make yet another choice to live or die. So I started eating better... now the efforts have finally paid off, to an extent. I've lost over 60 pounds. This has been an interesting event... not for some feeling of accomplishment or pride. For the first time in my life, I can see my veins in my hands, arms and legs... that's what I've found so interesting. Delicate. I find myself looking at them often... losing myself in the trails of blood buried beneath the flesh. Like ripples in the water... my fingers wiggle and the tendons and muscles dance. If anything, I am easily amused. Strings that won't easily become stretched or frayed... I have become a new instrument to be played. The music never stops. The choir sings. Rejoice. Perhaps these strings will last much longer than before... I step on stage and take my place. Ready for the movement and direction... we sway. We sway. It never stops.