Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Infinite Undiscovery

Turn the house lights down once more... as we take center stage. It's the ballad of discontent and stringy silence... woven eyelashes and fattened bellies yawn in the dim lights. The reports are varied and the sentiments become stale which each wheezing breath... desires find themselves tethered to consciousness to keep them from sailing deeper within. Since our last meeting, I had written several people in hopes of forging some type of friendship... some ignored the request, some ridiculed, and some are too recent to state a reaction.... we were informed how foolish of an attempt this has become. Actually, pathetic and creepy were most commonly peppered in the few replies... the choir smirks in acknowledgement, knowing full well they have warned us thusly. Still, I find myself stuck in the only attempts I understand... we must step outside and learn to hurl stones to grow as such. In attempts to balance the overwhelming negative influences lately,  I have decided to do some things with myself... the pencil and paper squirm with the added vibrations. There are few things left on the list to experience in this life-stream... most ingredients have been purchased, spoiled, and eaten. One of those things is getting a tattoo... the thought of what it would be came in a revelation. Something that would mean the same today as it would 20 years from now, or however long I have left on this world. Another thought that crossed my mind and that has been approved by the choir is learning how to play the cello. The first step would be to acquire one after some research and saving... those steps are well under way. Hopefully within a short amount of time, I will have something new to focus on... perhaps then it won't matter anymore and I will abandon this futile quest of understanding people and relationships. It's puzzling how I can feel so alone and empty while I have a mind full of voices and reminders... it's the faces. They need faces, then all of that loneliness will drift away...

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