Mary's Flock

Things have been quiet since my last purge of bile and ire... what better way to stir the silence, then a kick to the stomach? It is the 4th of July, our blessed Independence Day... another day to love, drink and walk blindly off of the nearest cliff. Fucking lemmings. What are we celebrating, independence... from what? Remove your "patriotic glasses" for a moment and think about it. We left England to come to America and be free... of course the price for that was enslaving the people already living here and shipping new people from another country to be our slaves as well. So here we are, free from England's rule and living the good life of any decent marauder... well done. So we form a government... for the people, by the people. Then we inflict the same rules and ternary upon the people that ran for "freedom"... same game, just a new location. Then a few "patriots" stand up and begin fighting for our freedom... while behind the scene a new Puppet Master toils with our strings. No, I am not at liberty to name the spades... the freedom of speech died long ago. Just think about where your money is going and who controls everything from health care to entertainment in America, you'll get the picture. Our wise government has striped every right and freedom from under our noses and the people are too daft to see it... all they see is "The American Dream". I'll tell you what the dream is... business. Morality has taken a back seat as we live the dream. Bigger, better, faster... it is the American dream. An empty mansion, a fleet of gas guzzling behemoths and toxic, glamor girls... life couldn't get much better. Oh wait, it can! How about a nation that builds secret death camps, poisons our water by drilling for oil, sprays chemicals into the air to spread disease and decay and a nation that stops backing our currency with precious metals, so that it becomes completely worthless... now, that's a great nation! Children burst from the womb while googling on their iPhones... the search of the day, is genocide. You've done a model job, Mr. Salt... please Sir, can I have some more? So celebrate your "freedom"... dance in the streets, burn your worthless money and watch it spew forth pink, yellow and red and have another drink, please do. Forget, for the moment, that you are a fucking slave to your "freedoms". Am I anti-America... no, I'm anti- sheep. I am wide awake and watching this lunacy unfold... while the others remain asleep and fondling their genitalia. Bah, bah, mother fuckers... Happy 4th of July.

Picture Perfect

It has been recently brought to my attention, that my "writing" has become a form of entertainment for a few selected people... a truly fascinating revelation, indeed. Apparently, what I have been doing here isn't actually writing or an expressive art form at all... the proper terminology is called "blog whining". In truth, I have no real problems whatsoever and any "abuse" I suffered as a child is typical childhood dilemma. It was also reassuring to find out, that any of my adult life experiences are merely poorly written fiction... now I will finally be able to rest with ease at night. Thank God! I can't believe I was so easily diluted and such a fucking whiner... well, enough of that funny business. Of course, even though all of this enlightenment has been so rewarding, it does come with a down side. So tragic indeed. You see, the sad part is... I will never truly know what pain, rejection or suffering REALLY is, not ever. To truly suffer in this world and and be taken serious as a writer, I have to change my entire life and circumstances. First off, I need to start a Tumblr page. The next step would to become a well experienced, self taught, highly intellectual 15yr old girl. I need to have rich parents that buy me everything... high-end laptops, digital cameras, a brand new car and a summer and winter vacation home, where I can escape life and refresh when things become too demanding. I'll need to find a boyfriend to lose my virginity to, so that I will be instantly installed with definitive and absolute knowledge of love and relationships. Finally, I will have to stop writing entirely about anything serious. Instead, I need to re-post pictures taken from other people and add intelligent commentary like, LOL, <3 and H8. OMG! I can't W8 (see I'm already learning, tee-hee).

Thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my <3. Oh, one more thing... Fuck you, you mindless, soulless, fucking piece of dried up, dog shit clone. Honestly, I find this amusing more than anything else and incredibly refreshing... it's nice to have my theories validated about how worthless and increasingly daft the people in this world truly are. For me to be lectured by a child about "life experiences" and "real trauma" is knee-slapping, fucking hilarious. Children are growing up in a society where they can sue their parents for spanking them... while I grew up in a time where parents tied their children to a fucking tree and beat the shit out of them and we thanked them for it. A time where the children of today get "grounded" for a day or two from their iPod... while I was locked in a basement and forced to memorize entire chapters of the Bible to save my eternal soul from rotting in a pit of fire till the end of time. Here is the proof, my friends... we have officially become slaves to our freedom and mentored by our ignorance. I weep for the generation of children to come. What a truly fitting end to my fabulously, shit-filled day. Thank you.

T.O.D. - Unparallel Vector

Living in a fantasy is preferred reading for one's mind... safety, security, certainty, all the elements aligned in a time that reflects Utopia. Fantasies are safe and warm, but remarkably difficult to maintain... when the glass shatters, all of those tiny slivers bury deep, cutting you ten times over. It becomes more difficult than the situation you were trying to escape in many ways... so desperately running to the greener pasture. Worlds unwind and the walls crumble to ash... left wallowing in the muck and mire of shattered glass and viscera. It will never come to fruition... Maynard stated it best, "Life feeds on life- This is necessary...". The time has come to remove the slivers and lick my wounds... how many times is this now for you?

Below is another T.O.D. entry. I will give you a little preemptive insight forehand this time around. The title suggests this is written about the Holocaust... that couldn't be more wrong. I have no desire to get into such debates at this current time, but that most certainly isn't the subject matter. Dive into the rabbit hole and have a glass of tea, Alice... we have cakes and biscuits aplenty.


"Auschwitz"


Frosted dreams gone away,
Left here to die.
Sometimes I wonder whether this is real,
Or fantasy...
A hand once cold, warm from the sting of fire-
It's only my ashes...
Falling on your forehead.


-(An excerpt from T.O.D.)

Pulling Hairs, Pushing Stairs

More than anything, I want the words "I love you" to be uttered from my mouth... even though the translation is foreign, the yearning is deeply rooted within. The driving compulsion to repeatedly stab you, is whispered sweetly in my ears... even though, it would never be deep enough. I long to hold you close within my arms... till the convulsions have ended and your lips have turned a cold, dull blue. If I had but one question to ask... it would begin with the word, why. Why must you seek pleasure in harming me? Perhaps it is the chase... like a playground taunting. The bullies stalking, inside they're talking... for this school bell has long since been tolled. The need to love and to be loved, has reaped the rotten fruit of hate... a line too thin for sight.

Mass Effect

It runs hot... dry and blistered. Ushering the metal cocoons into it's heaving throat... freshly spawned locusts, learning to feast. Soulless... mindless in and out. Clutching at their chests, searching... the patent is missing. Dim the lights and bathe in the silence... awake. Can you hear the humming... coming quickly from within me? Can you feel it... the vibrations resonating in my bones? Five to One, Baby... One in Five. No one here gets out alive. Must. Cut. It. Out. Minority is deeper than the flesh... it's the missing ingredient, the lubrication. What can not be duplicated or grown in a laboratory... plastic priests and electric irises. Morning eats it's children. Evening exhales noxious trails. Night weeps rivers of acidic tears. Run, Lennie, run... there are no rabbits to be found here.

Targeted Message

It is within us... that fragment, that piece of Creation and all that is and forever shall be. Gifted to the star children and those that choose no longer to slumber... our birthright and privilege. Inside our soul, the light and love radiant to the frequencies and vibrations of the ascended masters... our brothers and sisters rejoice. Sending forth peace and comfort to those in need... wrapping them in the crystal white light of protection and the violet light of unconditional love. Balance restores in accordance to will... the dark has no place us amongst us here. So be it... it is done.

T.O.D. - Voy Perdiendo, Perdiendo

It's been awhile since the last T.O.D. entry... some may be grateful for small favors. The past few days have been relentless... my feet are swollen from the repetitive dancing with skeletons. Sleep has eluded me as well... not that I dream of sugar plum fairies in the first place. Usually I'm stirred three times a night with infectious nightmares... memories and thoughts nibbling at the curdled brain tissue. I wanted to come here tonight and write about things weighing heavy on me as of late, tell some adventurous tale of yesterday or perhaps finally speak of Serah Weaver... later developments taxed my ability to follow through. My mother needed some suckling and my sister needed some blood... my breasts and veins have gone dry. Time has hemorrhaged and the choir has remained quiet, preparing their aria and verdict. So tonight's entry will be another selected piece from T.O.D... boo, hiss, boo. As a form of compensation, it will require no dissection... tapestries are unfolded and the edges are in place. Those of you that have been following along have figured out by now, that every thing I say has a message, purpose or target... those gingerbread men are crafty and refuse the feast without chase. It is a bit graphic and perhaps offensive... to no one's surprise, I am certain.


"The Offering"

I had a baby-
And slit its throat.
It shook and jiggled-
Like a slaughtered goat.

It was not of joy-
But a service of mine.
An offer and payment-
To Satan the divine.

It lay there fresh-
On my alter of stone.
Now I must clean it-
Pulling flesh from bone.

I boiled its fat-
For a warm tasty drink.
Inhaling the aroma-
As it boiled up pink.

I ripped out its heart-
Squeezed it bone dry.
Ate out its liver-
And smoked its left eye.

I saved all the blood-
As instructed to do.
Anointed my forehead-
And savored some too.

Its red-stained bone lay-
Other ingredients in place.
For now it is the hour-
To see my Master's face.

He blessed me His servant-
Bestowing power in my hand.
No longer of fleshy earth-
But His immortal I stand.

-(An excerpt from T.O.D.)